I think I’m afraid of insignificance. Of mediocrity. Afraid of not living up to my potential. Sometimes I see inspiring posts on the internet or another “amazing transformation” and, instead of feeling inspired, I’m left feeling discouraged. When I see others chasing and living their dreams, I find myself faced with a giant, looming question, “If they can do it, why can’t I?”
Why Can’t I?
And to be honest, sometimes I’d rather not answer, “why can’t I?” Some days I’d rather sit in comparison, in mediocrity, and in self-doubt because it’s easier. As much as I hate all of those things, they’re familiar and more comfortable than change. It’s easier to spend hours scrolling through Facebook or Instagram than it is to put in the work.
Because…what if I fail? What if I get to the edge and can’t leap? What if I’m rejected? What if nothing happens? What if I don’t have what it takes? What if I’m disappointed…again?
So I sit here. Mindlessly watching Insta-stories, swiping left, and or creating Pinterest boards because vulnerability just costs too much.
The Cycle of Fear
The irony is that the same fear of mediocrity is what keeps me trapped in it. When I love and celebrate myself exactly as I am, then I am empowered to change. But first I must know and believe that I am significant, that I am powerful, that I am enough right here and now. However, as long as I compare myself to everyone out there who’s killing it at life, I will remain stagnant and hiding. It may seem backwards but self-love and self-acceptance are pivotal catalysts for change.
So before you try to just suck it up and make something happen, take a moment to celebrate the wonder of you. Your breath. Your laugh. Your imagination. Celebrate yourself exactly where and how you are. From there, you might just find the courage to leap.
Katelyn Alexander 