I can’t.

These are quite possibly the two most devastating words in the English language.

I can’t.

So many people with talents, dreams, and massive gifting on their lives have disqualified themselves and sabotaged their own success by adopting these two little words: I can’t.

I can’t write a book.
I can’t ask them out.
I can’t start a business.
I can’t move to a new city.
I can’t do that big, scary thing that deep down I really want to do.

I can’t has killed more dreams than failure ever has. When we adopt the words “I can’t” we stop ourselves from ever starting.

I’m telling you, it’s not that you can’t do something. Believe me, people have learned how to do crazy things, have overcome wild obstacles, and achieved massive success when they believed in themselves.

Who Do You Think You Are?

Usually, when we’re telling ourselves “I can’t,” isn’t because we physically or intellectually can’t do something. Rather, it’s because the identity we hold about ourselves contradicts the thing we’re trying to do.

If you believe you’re a bad writer, you won’t try to write a book.
If you believe you’re bad with money, you won’t start a business.
If you believe you’re undateable, you certainly won’t put yourself out there.

It’s time to challenge the identity you hold about yourself. What if deep down inside of you is a total badass who was created for greatness? What if you’re actually a brilliant communicator who simply needs to clean up your grammar game in order to write a book that’ll change lives? What if the very act of putting yourself out there will boost your confidence, give you perspective, and help you realize you’re a total catch?

One of the best ways to get over your limiting beliefs is to simply take action and do something that challenges you. Even small, tiny action steps boost confidence and lead towards momentum

Challenge Your Perceived Identity

That said, if you only take action without changing the way you think about yourself, you might find yourself in place where you’re sabotaging your own success. #guilty

This is why we need to challenge the way we view ourselves. I’m not talking about your family heritage, background, racial, sexual, or gender identities. Where we’ve come from are powerful and significant strengths, not weakness. What I am saying is this:

Am I allowing my own perceived identity to limit me in any way, shape, or form?
Am I honestly and genuinely who I want to be?
Or am feeling a sense of defeat because of who I am?

If you answered “yes” to any of those questions, it’s probably time to challenge what you’re believing about yourself and what you’re believing is available to you.

Because here’s the thing: You are on this earth with a purpose. Your strengths and weaknesses are gifts directly connected to your purpose. You are not an accident and the way you are wired is no mistake.

However, as long as you cling to limiting beliefs and “I can’t” mindsets, you’ll stay stuck. It’s imperative to challenge these lies about who you are and what is possible to you. Myriad possibilities await you.

I want you to write down a list of things you’ve always secretly wanted to do but feel like you “can’t” do and then write down the kind of person you think does those things. How does it make you feel? Be honest. And then, for a minute, I want you to imagine that you’re that kind of person. This is a game of pretend, I’m not even asking you to believe that you’re that kind of person right now, just imagine. And then write down how you feel. Let me know in the comments what happened!

The month of October, I’m doing a series on Transformation. My next piece will be on taking this idea of Challenging Your Own Identity to the next level.

Photo by Tanya Engel.