Everywhere I go, I hear the same conversation over and over again.

Sometimes it’s with a self-deprecating snicker, other times it’s with a heavy sigh, and at others it’s while holding back tears of utter defeat.

Women with big hearts and big dreams fighting overwhelm and exhaustion. Pummeling through their day-to-day lives while living for the weekend. Or a break. Or when the kids finally go to bed. Fantasizing about hopping on a plane and laying by the pool with a margarita, but getting up and going back to the grind. Again. 

STRESS. Let’s talk about it.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever heard anyone, ever, talk about how stress is, uh, not  good for you.

Now, raise your hand if you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, numb to your feelings, anxious, out of control, exhausted, or Just. Plain. Stressed. Oh, look, that’s all of us.

For the finale, raise your hand if you have any sort of strong emotion when I mention the upcoming holidays. Excitement? Anticipation? Dread? Maybe some stress?

As if the general un-fun feelings associated with stress weren’t enough to turn you off, chronic stress has serious long term consequences.

Not to be a Debbie Downer, but stress is connected to virtually every disease on the planet. Chronic stress leads to hypertension, migraines, digestive issues, weight problems, hormone imbalances, anxiety, and depression etc.

Ummm. No thanks.

Okay, now that we’ve established that stress sucks….what the heck do we do about it?

Stress Isn’t Going Anywhere

First off, it’s okay that there’s stress in your life. No, really. We live in a stressful world full of demanding deadlines and cultural upheaval and the awkwardness of making friends as an adult.

The key is not to eliminate every single stressor out there. The key is to shift how stress affects you while eliminating the unnecessary stressors–like endless scrolling through a feed of perfect Instagram models or comparing yourself to the mom with perfect, well-behaved children or watching the evening news before bed (’cause who needs that kind of negativity?!)

Second, come up with an action plan for how YOU are going to take care of YOU. While you can’t automatically turn your two year old into a functional, thoughtful, and considerate adult, you can shift how you react to her tantrums.

You can also give yourself permission to take a break from her sometimes.

This isn’t selfish. This is self-care. Plus, you’ll have more energy to give to her when you take a simple breather.

The Myth of Self-Care

I think, for a lot of people, the idea of self-care feels selfish and superfluous. The images of bubble baths and face masks and sipping champagne are quickly interrupted by screaming children, demanding work deadlines, or relationship drama.

But self-care has literally nothing to do with bubble baths or face masks (except when you really, really want it to).

No, my friends. Self-care is much messier and much less straightforward. True self-care is holistic care. It’s caring for your body, mind, and emotions. It involves honesty, kindness, and a heaping dose of self-compassion.

First off, self-care isn’t selfish. In fact, taking care of yourself is one of the most selfless things you can do in the long run.

It’s virtually impossible for you to show up for the people who are important to you, if you’re physically or emotionally falling apart. I don’t say this to shame you but to remind you: you are worthy of taking care of. Moreover, the people who love you most need you to take care of you.

Second, self-care has nothing to do with bubble baths or spa days. As great as those things are (if you like them, that is), the real care we’re desperate for is soul care. We need to consistently prioritize physical and emotional wellbeing. When was the last time you checked in with your heart, mind, and emotions?

But how do we do it? How do we show up for ourselves when the world is loud and demanding? When anxiety is gnawing at your belly? Or when life is Just. Plain. HARD.

Befriend Yourself

It’s simpler than you think.

By showing up for yourself in small, intentional ways every day. That’s how you change your life and find calm in a sea of busy. That’s how you break up with toxic stress and support your physical and emotional health.

The small, little things matter. The tiniest choices make a monumental difference.

Mindfulness Matters

Tiny mindfulness practices such as eating while sitting down (instead of shoving food into your mouth on the run), sipping your tea slowly and savoring the warmth on your tongue, or walking outside for ten leisurely minutes are all practical, easy ways to take care of yourself…and all of these physiologically and emotionally relieve stress.

Retraining your nervous system to get out of the chronic fight-or-flight mode is possible. But it won’t happen by accident. It takes intentionality and mindfulness.

Create Your Way to Wonder

This is why I designed Create Your Way to Wonder as a six week transformational journey to support you in breaking up with chronic stress, finding peace in the middle of chaos, and becoming your own best friend and advocate.

I’ll be sharing tidbits from this course on my blog (look out for an upcoming post entitled 5 Practical Ways to Practice Self Care!) but if you’re ready to tackle overwhelm head-on, THIS COURSE IS FOR YOU.

Shoot me a message if you want more information! I’d love to have you!