In my last post, I established that self-care isn’t actually selfish. In fact, self-care is one of the most selfless things we can do because it enables us to show up wholeheartedly for everything and everyone else we love and care about.

Second, I established that self-care has nothing to do with bubble baths or spa days. As great as those things are (if you like them, that is), the real care we’re desperate for is soul care. We need to consistently prioritize physical and emotional wellbeing. That said, how do we practically practice self-care?

Let’s Get Practical

Here are a few practical tips to take care of yourself:

1. Prioritize.

Make a list of what’s really really really important and non-negotiable to you. These are the things you genuinely care about or need to make space for. Include work, child-raising, friendships, health, and dream building etc. Include activities you enjoy but aren’t always able to get around to, as well.

Now,  make a list of everything you’re doing in life and compare the two.

Scratch off every activity you’re doing that isn’t on the non-negotiable list. I don’t care about what you think you “should” do. Or feel obligated to do. If you want to live your life on purpose, you have to get clear about what matters.

2. Say “No.”

Say “no” to all the random activities on the second list that aren’t giving you life and take note of how relieved you feel.

Say “no” to the new work project, to your mom, to fundraiser, to your best friend. If it’s doesn’t fill you with excitement, if you’re not screaming from the rooftop  “hell yes!” then it’s a “hell no.” Especially when you’re burned out.

3. Play.

On your first list, you probably came up with something you love to do but don’t always do. If there’s not an ounce of space for fun in your life, it’s no wonder you’re burned out.

What fills you up with life? What gives you joy? What gets you excited? Is it reading alone in your room? Is it talking on the phone or getting coffee with a friend? Is it date night? Is going for a walk in nature? Is it getting dolled up and going out for cocktails with the girls?

Whatever it is for you, make space for it. Please. It doesn’t have to be all the time, but it does need to happen. For your sake.

Note: spending 4 hours zoning out to Netflix, partying super hard and getting smashed, playing video games until 2 am, eating a pint of ice cream by yourself etc. isn’t what I mean by fun.

While these activities in moderation can make it into the healthy “fun “category, they can also be symptoms of numbing out. If you’re avoiding hard emotions or discomfort by numbing out, you actually make it harder for yourself to experience real joy and fun. This brings us to….

4. Feel the Messy Feelings.

Oh yes. Feelings. Emotions. They always seem to pop up at the most inconvenient times. You’ve been trudging along ignoring you’re feelings and suddenly n you’re blowing up at your husband. Or crying at an email. Or avoiding getting out of bed.

When emotions get stuffed down, they always come back. Emotions are indicators and signals of what’s going on inside of you, what you’re believing, and where boundaries have been violated or needs gone unmet. While your emotions shouldn’t run your life, they should have a healthy space in your life.

When you numb pain, you also numb joy. When you suppress emotions, you also suppress your immune system (no joke, it’s crazy the physical ailments that have disappeared when people learned how to healthfully process and release pain and strong emotions–but, that’s a post for another time).

At the very least, it’s time to give yourself a safe time and space to process and feel your feelings with a journal or a friend or a therapist or a piece of art.

5. Practice Gratitude.

Cheesy? Nope. A total game changer. Gratitude literally rewires our brains for positivity. So if negativity and burnout are your two best friends, don’t walk, RUN towards gratitude.

Even when life is overwhelming, you will always have something to be grateful for. Your heart is still beating? You have a roof over your head? Your cat likes you sometimes?

If I were to only pick one of the things on this lis to implement, I start with gratitude. Because when you start paying attention to what you’re grateful for, you’ll start finding ways to incorporate more and more things you love. And eventually, you’ll start surrounding yourself with things that bring joy.

What do you think? What are some of the ways you practice self-care?

Create Your Way to Wonder

Also Create Your Way to Wonder has a few more openings! It’s a six week transformational journey to support you in breaking up with chronic stress, finding peace in the middle of chaos, practically implementing self-care strategies, and becoming your own best friend and advocate. Shoot me a message if you’re interested!