I was 14 when I heard a woman say, “I always get nervous standing alone in an elevator with a man. ESPECIALLY if it’s a black man.” I didn’t think anything of it at the time.
I’ve pretty much never worried about getting pulled over cause, “I’m just an innocent looking white girl who could probably smile my way out of a ticket.” The thought of getting hurt by the police? Unheard of.
I lamented the lack of diversity in my hometown but assumed it was just randomly that way…instead of realizing that Oregon’s history is deeply racist with racist tendencies still entrenched in our subconsciouses.
Moreover, I never once thought to acknowledge or challenge the idea that, “white is innocent” and “black is scary.”
I grew up with this idea that racism is only the stuff that’s “really, really bad” (segregation, white and black drinking fountains, calling someone the “n” word, thinking you were better than people of color, refusing service to a person of color). All the while, I was oblivious to the racist biases inside of myself, those around me, and the acts of violence still happening in my nation.
Because, come on, things are better now. America’s not like it used to be.
So, if a black man was killed by a police officer, he must’ve done something to deserve it, right? Or if a white woman called the cops on a “creepy dark-skinned guy in the park,” he must’ve incited her somehow? Or if people of color were rioting, they were basically asking to be shot or arrested and should’ve known better.
When I think of the conclusions I used to make, I feel mortified and ashamed.
I didn’t hate people who looked different than me, I simply didn’t bother paying attention. It didn’t touch me, so I remained indifferent.
Indifference masquerades as innocence, but is simply a more subtle form of toxicity and oppression. When we’re indifferent, racism persists.
– Our indifference means that African American men are incarcerated at 5x the rate of white men.
– Our indifference means that African American women are 3-4x MORE LIKELY to die in childbirth than white women.
– Our indifference means that people like George Floyd can get murdered by a white cop who should’ve been stripped of his badge a long time ago.
Unless we face and challenge the subconscious beliefs inside of ourselves such as, “black is more dangerous than white,” and “he probably did something to deserve it,” then we are perpetuating a horrific system of oppression.
Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Certain conditions continue to exist in our society, which must be condemned as vigorously as we condemn riots. But in the final analysis, a riot is the language of the unheard. And what is it that America has failed to hear?…it has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice, equality, and humanity.”
It’s only in the last six years that I’ve really opened my eyes to the oppression happening in my country and started listening. I don’t have all the answers, but I know that the African American community is angry, afraid, exhausted…and desperate to be heard. And while I’m not condoning violence, I do wonder why we are quicker to condemn rioting than the repeated senseless killings of innocent black men by those who are “sworn to protect.”
After all, “a riot is the language of the unheard.” We need to start listening.
Moreover, I know this: unless we are willing to face our own racist biases, confront systemic oppression in our nation, and stand with our brothers and sisters of color, then we are complicit in the crimes of this nation.
Is every police officer who pulls a gun on African American someone who just hates black people? I doubt it. But my guess is, they are operating under this same belief I also faced that, “black is more dangerous than white.” This belief is a deadly ally in all of these killings.
Is someone suspicious just because they have darker skin? Is someone scary because they don’t look like me? Did someone “ask for it” because they’ve got dreads and are wearing baggy clothes instead of a button up shirt and tie?
We cannot stand by silent anymore. Racism, oppression, and murder will continue to happen for as long as we refuse to confront our own racist tendencies and biases. It will continue as long as we want to keep the peace more than changing our society. It will continue as long as we turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to the cries of our brothers and sisters of color.
Now, it’s time for me to stop talking and LISTEN to the voices who have been silenced in a America for far, far too long. Please come and listen with me.
Katelyn Alexander 