A Conversation Worth Risking…

For days, I’ve been struggling to articulate something—anything—in light of the recent tragedies in the news. I haven’t known what to say, so for the most part, I haven’t said anything. And even though there are hundreds of voices and even more opinions inundating your newsfeed, I can no longer remain silent.

Because I grew up in a conservative, predominantly white environment, I naively assumed that racism was a thing of the past. Oh sure, I’d heard that in some places people still harbored prejudices towards those of differing skin tones, but I’d never experienced it. We celebrated the few and far between people of color we happened to come into contact with. My heart swelled whenever I watched movies about the civil rights or groundbreaking African American heroes. To think of how far our nation had come! In my naiveté, I assumed that because I had never encountered blatant racism, that racism wasn’t really an issue anymore. Or at least not such a big one.

If only that were actually the case.

We can say we don’t discriminate and everyone should be treated equal all we want.

But if a man with darker skin inspires more fear in us than a man with lighter skin, we’re fooling ourselves.

If we find it harder to respect a woman of color than a fairer skinned one, we’re deceived.

If my immediate reaction is to justify a white man accused of a crime while searching for ways to blame a black man accused of a similar crime, something is painfully, desperately wrong.

This is racism. And we need to talk about it.

To my white friends on the sidelines, I’m speaking to you.

If you’re anything like me, it can be easy to feel as if you have no voice in this conversation. If your skin is white, and you’ve never “felt prejudiced” towards someone of color or been around blatant racist behavior, you may think you’re doing your part and that you don’t need to do any more. In fact, like me, you may believe that discussions about race only serve to divide instead of unite. After all, how can talking about our differences do anything but separate us?

But take a minute and put yourselves in the shoes of your brothers and sisters of color. Your friends who are  feeling isolated and afraid. Like they are less important or less valuable or less worth protecting because of the color of their skin. Like the system of justice that’s in place to protect them could turn against them. Stand in their place for a moment. Feel what they’re feeling. And tell me this conversation is still irrelevant. 

My heart breaks in the light of the recent shootings: Alton Sterling, Philando Castile and the five officers in Dallas. All of these deaths are tragedies. We cannot ignore that hatred, fear, and oppression towards people of color still exists in the US. Nor can we deny the horrific results that hatred and retaliation bring about from those set on vengeance. On both sides, we have witnessed terrible injustice. But on both sides, we’ve seen many who long for healing. In the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., “hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

So this is my cry: that we love one another. And love braves the conversation.

For years, I thought conversations about racism would only serve to divide. Black vs. white. Us vs. them. But this doesn’t have to be the case.

Unless we look an issue in the face, we will never bring about healing or restoration. But even before we look an issue in the face, we must look one another in the face. Right now, many people are hurting and afraid—people of color, law enforcement officers, their families…we must look into each other’s eyes and acknowledge where there is fear and pain and refuse to look away. Only then can a healthy dialogue begin to bring about a solution.

To my brothers and sisters of color: I see your pain. I acknowledge your hurt. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for my willful ignorance. I’m sorry for turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to your cries for equality. I’m sorry for avoiding the conversation because I didn’t want to become too “political.” And I’m sorry for remaining silent when you felt devalued, undermined, and unsafe because of your skin color. Today, I weep with you.

To those in law enforcement: I see your pain. I acknowledge your hurt. Thank you for putting your lives on the line and serving our nation…I know many of you are also praying for the day when true incorruptible justice will have the final say in our legal system.

To my white friends: I implore you. Stop running from dialogue and discussion because it makes you feel uncomfortable. Stop sitting on the sidelines because it’s not your problem. YES. It is your problem. We may pretend the world is colorblind, but it’s not. We see in colors. However, color should never be a reason to demean or devalue one person’s life over another.  After all, aren’t colors what make life so extraordinarily beautiful? Without diversity–of color, culture, thought, history–the world would be an incredibly dull place. Moreover, when a myriad of colors come together, not to compete but to complement, we experience some of the most glorious masterpieces ever created.

Therefore, look your friends of color in the eyes. Hug them. Ask them how they’re feeling. Acknowledge the problems in our nation. Cry. Celebrate your differences and celebrate your similarities. Pray. Strategize solutions. Or do something else.

But whatever you do, do not remain silent and apathetic.
Do not sit on the sidelines and quietly observe from a safe distant.

To all of us: may we be patient with one another. May we forgive our misunderstandings and be gracious even when we stumble over our words or ignorantly say something offensive or straight up can’t agree. We will mess up. We’re human. And it’s this very bond of humanness that connects us. Therefore, as we value our connection with one another above our differences, we will triumph.

Risk the conversation.
It’s worth it.