A few weeks ago, I woke up absolutely exhausted. I had started a half marathon training plan which had my body adjusting to long runs again, I traveled to Bend for three days which was fun but full of activity, I came home, went to an afternoon event, and worked a late night. Busy, sure, but not crazy.

In spite of sleeping in, I still couldn’t seem to get myself moving, so I went back to bed. And when I got up two hours later, I still felt beat.

My mind immediately started spiraling with thoughts about my adrenals and what supplements and maybe I was getting sick and anxiety about whether I should even be running in the first place.

Instead of running liked I’d planned, I decided on a warm shower. As the water poured over me, I heard the Rachel Hollis voice in the back of my head, “Embrace the suck! Push through the hard. You just have to keep going!” And I immediately silenced it. I’m a giant Rachel Hollis fan, but this was not the motivation I needed. I also heard another voice, “Your body is so frustrating! Why can’t you just have consistent energy? It’s so annoying that you can’t just get momentum and keep it.”

Shhh…Your Criticism Isn’t Welcome Here

Again, I silenced this voice.

I tapped into another voice, a gentler, softer, quieter one. The voice of a friend.

“Hey,” she said. “You seem pretty beat.”
“Yeah…I don’t feel like I can do much of anything.”
“When was the last time you gave yourself permission to rest?”
“I just went on vacation!” I protested.
She waited.
“It’s…been awhile.”
As the water poured down my back, I felt myself respond to the softness.

My friend, Self-Compassion, imbued a gentle energy over me.

It was okay that my body was exhausted.
It was okay that I felt mentally and emotionally drained.
It was okay that I couldn’t meet the expectations that I’d set for myself that morning.

It was time to pivot, to readjust my expectations of myself and my day in order to thrive.

The Magic of Self Compassion

This is the magic of self-compassion. Self-compassion empowers you to thrive even when you face unexpected obstacles and setbacks. Yes, many times in life we do need to push ourselves and persevere.

But there’s a much better strength than the harsh critical rods we often attack ourselves with. Beating ourselves up doesn’t help us get more done, it simply leaves bruises on our backs and on our hearts.

We live in a world obsessed with results. We want results and we want them now.

Hustle.
Achieve.
Strive.
Succeed.

But sometimes our obsession with results means we stop loving ourselves exactly where we are and we try to shove results down our throats at any cost.

Oh, friend. Why not be kind to yourself instead?

You Get to Experience Kindness Today

Self-Compassion gives you permission to be kind to yourself, exactly where you are. Kindness shouldn’t be reserved for when you’re “good enough.”

You need kindness today.
When you’ve failed.
When you’ve let yourself down.
When you’ve hurt someone you love.
When you’ve made a mess of your life.

Self-Compassion doesn’t make excuses for wrong decisions or hurtful actions. Moreover, it won’t make a case for why you can’t change or you’ll always be stuck in the same patterns or call you names like “failure” or “stupid.” That’s shame.

 

Self-Compassion Empowers Transformation

No, Self-Compassion empowers you to change through kindness.

Self-Compassion is the tender voice that says things like:
“Hey you. I know you feel like a hot mess right now. That’s okay. I’m going to love you in your hot mess status.”
“I can see things have been hard. I’m sorry it’s hard, let me sit with you in your discomfort.”
“I know you feel like a failure. You may have failed, but you’re not a failure. And when you’re ready to get up and try again, I’m right here to cheer you on.”

Hands down, when I partner with kindness, I accomplish much more than when I partner with criticism and self-hate.

So, friend, wherever you are today, I hope you speak to yourself with kindness. If you want to transform your life, start with self-compassion. A little compassion goes a long way.

If you’re still struggling with to show yourself compassion, my course Create Your Way to Wonder is chock full of powerful tools to help you overcome toxic anxiety and live in a more compassionate, loving, and mindful way.